I don’t know when it became hard to love yourself and find happiness, but somewhere along the way, it became the norm. There are so many toxic sources that we face on a daily basis which contributes to feelings of sadness, emptiness, feeling like we’re not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough. So many ways to compare ourselves to others that sometimes it feels like we can never pull ourselves out of the hole that we dug ourselves into in the first place. Guess what? Nobody is perfect and everyone has something that they are struggling with.
These days, social media has taken over our lives. Whether it’s seeing how many likes we can get on Instagram or posting a snapchat story just to see if that one person will view it. When did we stop doing things for ourselves and start doing everything for other people? When did the sleepovers go from watching chick flicks and eating everything in sight to stalking people on Instagram and shit-talking? Slowly but surely, a switch flipped. I lost my love for myself, lost my love for what I truly believe in, lost who I am. I became a person that I don’t know anymore, a person that I’m not proud of, and all for what? So I can impress the frat guy who won’t stop playing The Chainsmokers behind the bar while holding a red solo cup filled with god knows what and wearing sunglasses in a dark basement? So I can be known as the “fun” one in my sorority, known as the one who will always go out, whether it’s a Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or Saturday? The one who refers to syllabus week as syllaBOOZE week? I lost sight of what I truly believe in. All I wanted was a classic college experience, but what I got was a broken heart and a drinking ticket.
After having one of the hardest semesters of my life, emotionally, I decided to take action and fix myself. It started small, but gradually I could feel myself reverting back to the girl that I knew and loved from first semester. The saying that happiness is fleeting is just a bunch of bullshit. Find happiness in the small things, in the things that you do on a daily basis. It’s ok to find happiness into your future endeavors, but don’t put all of your happiness into the future, otherwise you will never be happy about the present.